We all had that person in high school that was just too cool. Or at least they thought they were too cool for everyone. They had a little style and a little looks but no charm. They were cocky, arrogant and just didn’t have time for anyone.
Fast forward to present day: You’re walking down the street, feeling confident, running the successful meeting you just got out of through your head. You ooze confidence, the smile swept across your face causes people to look your way. Someone grabs you on the arm, you don’t recognize them at first. When you realize it is this totally awesome person from high school you hope they don’t notice the suprised look on your face and hear you ask yourself “what the fuck happen to you”. Because they just seem hideous. And you find great joy in that.
Today, I was going to the mall and went through Macy’s. I saw a really sexy girl from behind; a blond wearing a tiny skirt and a nice blouse. Feeling like being a punk, I went up to her and said, “How you doing?” and slapped her ass. Everyone saw the mannequin fly into the mirror and shatter it. FML
Today, I worked in the Emergency Room. A patient came in and the diagnosis was “private area caught in zipper”. All of my co workers and I were cracking jokes in regards to what happened. I walked into the room the patient is only to find my dad crying in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can’t make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying “Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis.” FML
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I’d “killed her nose”. FML
Hahaha, little kids in public bathrooms tend to be hilarious.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn’t believe me. FML
Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9’oclock curfew. I’m 18. FML
Thats fucking harsh. I was once physically beaten and grounded because my friends asked my grandmother if they could take me to the movies for my birthday. I was 17.
Writes the 13-year-old reviewer of today using yesteryear’s gadget:
It took me three days to figure out that there was another side to the tape. That was not the only naive mistake that I made; I mistook the metal/normal switch on the Walkman for a genre-specific equaliser, but later I discovered that it was in fact used to switch between two different types of cassette.
I laughed out loud at too many parts of this. And shook my head because OMG. No one under the age of fifteen will remember flipping a tape or the frustration of not being able to hear a song again ‘til you flipped it over because your Walkman didn’t have a rewind button.
very cute. i liked that i read the article in an english accent. ha.
Shit, all the kiddies look so happy with their bubble-gum swirl pops! :(
eff no. when i hear that music the world stops and i look directly for change or some dollar bills and scramble out of the house…and im almost 20. hold your head up high while you shove those young’uns out of the way!
I have been known to punt the slower kids out of my way to get to the Mister Softee Truck.